Hi everyone. I have been interested in psychology for a while. Not only it helps me to understand myself better, it also helps me to understand others. Psychology is an amazing knowledge. Depends on the people who use it, it can bring understanding but also harm to others. As for me, I just use this to improve myself. I could say I don't really understand myself when I was in my teenager year but after knowing a little bit about psychology, I feel much better.
I was reading a story from Wattpad when I found this Love Language. This topic is interesting so I decided to do some research. Turned out that there is a book about this. It was called "The Five Love Language" written by Gary Chapman (another book added to my reading list!) According to him, there are five ways for people to express their love (it was called the love language). They are gift giving, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service and physical touch. I have to admit there are different ways for each people to express their love. And just because you have different ways with your partner, it doesn't mean that you guys can't make it through. If you have difficulty in reading your partner, you may have come to the right post!"Chapman suggests that to discover another person's love language, one must observe the way they express love to others, and analyze what they complain about most often and what they request from their significant other most often. He theorizes that people tend to naturally give love in the way that they prefer to receive love, and better communication between couples can be accomplished when one can demonstrate caring to the other person in the love language the recipient understands."
So, to make it easier for you to digest, let me give you an example. There's a husband which love language is acts of service while her wife is words of affirmation. He shows his love to his wife by helping her with household chores, preparing breakfast for her everyday, buying her medicine when she gets sick. He will be confused when his wife doesn't see the effort he does as an act of love. As for her, she will think it was just a husband who is performing his duties. Because her love language is words of affirmation, she will feel loved if her husband tells her how much he loves her or how much she means for him and otherwise if she mows the lawn for him or sewing his shirt that has a hole in it, that will show to him that she loves him.
Referring back to Mr Chapman's theory, people tend to naturally give love in the way that they prefer to receive love. In this case above, husband prefer to receive love by speaking act of service so that's why he gives love in that way and vice versa. So, if you feel your partner doesn't love you, you may take a pause and reflect. What is your partner's language? What is your language? Communicate it with them and you will be amazed by how psychology can make your relationship better. End of the story, my love language is words of affirmation, how about you?
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